The Vixen Thinks: It's OK For Someone Else to Make You Happy


The Vixen Thinks is an almost weekly feature on this blog. Posts vary in topic, I'll talk about anything I have an opinion on! From blogging to relationships to feminism and anything beyond. If there's anything you'd like me to write about, feel free to get in touch: theglittervixen(at)gmail(dot)com! Thank you!

I'm big on self help literature. I've got a list of self help kinda books, I love blogs like Gala Darling's which promote radical self love and I'm a firm believer in the idea that you control your life so your life is what you make it. Despite this, sometimes, I get a little narked at seeing people saying that only you can make yourself happy. While I'm perfectly capable of making myself happy and I know others are capable of making themselves happy too, I cannot deny that there are people out there who aren't me who make me happy. Whether it's my boyfriend sending me a thoughtful little message from afar or simply seeing my baby brother or sister - there are people out there that contribute towards my happiness. And you know what? That's ok.

It's ridiculous to believe that no one except yourself is going to cause you any happiness in your life. If we were genuinely able to rely on ourselves then why do the bonds of family and friendship matter so much to us? Why is social life a huge factor in whether people feel happy or not? During some of my hardest times, it was spending time with my dad, stepmum, baby brother and baby sister that helped me through. This is fine, this is not a problem. I'm glad I've got people out there who can cheer me up when I'm not so great at doing so myself. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/son/daughter whatever makes you feel happy then let it make you happy. I don't think we should feel guilty that not all happiness comes from within.

Of course, if you rely entirely on other people to make you happy, that is a problem. People will always let you down and people are not around forever as sad as it is. You're inevitably going to cause yourself a lot of misery if you are only happy because of other people and aren't able to make yourself happy. I think I've finally learnt my own value. I've learnt I am indeed in control of my thoughts and I'm realising that there's another way to look at every situation so I can always turn my mood around if I just try hard enough. It just so happens I'm lucky enough to have other people in my life that make me happy.

Ultimately, you need to be able to depend on yourself for happiness, but it's ok for someone else to make you happy too, just make sure they're not the only one who makes you happy.