The Vixen Thinks is an almost weekly feature on this blog. Posts vary in topic, I'll talk about anything I have an opinion on! From blogging to relationships to feminism and anything beyond. If there's anything you'd like me to write about, feel free to get in touch: theglittervixen(at)gmail(dot)com! Thank you!
I'm obsessed with the internet and I have been for the 10+ years I've been exploring it. While I've moved on from the Barbie and Diva Starz website now, to flirt with my own self hosted website, to Myspace, to this blog I'm writing right now, my love for the internet has remained constant and I never, ever get bored of it and doubt I ever will. I think a lot about the impact that the internet has had both on me, and the wider world. Our generation is so very, very different to the ones that came before it and this is mostly down to the internet. One thing is particular that gets me is how open and honest, or not as the case may be, the internet has made us. Previously to having such a huge platform to share my mind with, I'd confide secrets in my head, giggle about crushes with them and talk about my relationships with them. I had a very detailed diary as well. Yet now, these things that used to be reserved for people I knew in real life instead get Tweeted about in an offhand manner or I blog about them on here.
There are things I purposely keep, or have tried to keep away from the internet. Although this is the first time I've outright said it on this blog, I suffer from depression and have done for a while, I doubt this is a surprise to any regular readers or people who follow me elsewhere as I know I insinuate this a lot and I do mention having down days and down weeks. For a while I even kept my relationship a secret. When me and my boyfriend got together, I told my sister only and begged my boyfriend not to say anything about it publicly either. I wanted it to be mine. I wanted no outside interference. I just wanted to be left alone with my relationship and be able to enjoy it properly in a way I was never afforded before. And yet, pictures of James have cropped up on Instagram, I mention him in posts and it's pretty obvious we're planning to move in together. Why are these things I've wanted to keep secret pouring out?
Like it or not, for us bloggers, the internet and our blogs become a huge part of our life. The truth is my depression and my boyfriend play a huge part in my life as well so it's no wonder they have managed to make their way onto my blog. I like blogs because they're personal and inviting unlike magazines and it's great having such an insight into other peoples thoughts and feelings. It's no wonder then, that more and more often, the lines between are "online" and "offline" life are becoming blurred and for me now, they are one and the same thing. I meet people from the internet a lot. People in real life know about my blog. I confide in my readers and they confide in me. It's just like I would've done with my friends in the old day, you know, just a lot more public.
I'm undecided how I feel about the information we share on the internet. There's definitely a line somewhere but I'm no longer sure at which point it can be crossed. I think it's great that people can open up and interact with and even help strangers by talking about their experiences but there's also a flipside. People can lose their jobs from irresponsible use of social media. Not everyone thinks it's appropriate to talk about mental health openly. I know I hate people sticking their noses into my relationship and thinking they know anything about it, yet I know that by mentioning it online that people automatically think they have the right to an opinion.
Although I think for me anyway, it's inevitable that more personal details about my life will creep up in my online presence, it's important to remember that what you see of someone on the internet isn't all of them. Like I said, I have purposely tried to keep things mentioned in this post secret before and no doubt others do too. I can also talk about my relationship until the cows come home but you will never truly know how it makes me feel. I can talk to you about my depression but unless you've seen me at my lowest points and been there to see me at my worst, you'll never really understand it.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, I just felt like a bit of a thought dump. What do you think?