A common theme I see in self help literature is phrases such as "Be Your Own Valetine!" or "Be Your Own Best Friend" or "Treat Yourself How You Wish Others Would Treat You." They're honestly so cliche and cheesy - but they pop up so often, is there really some good advice in these overdone tropes?

Quite often, I treat myself terribly. Although I'm perfectly capable of dishing advice out to others, I never really take my own advice. When I want things I know I shouldn't, I make up excuses in my head to justify it. When I became obsessed with the idea of getting a loan for the wrong reasons, I told myself many questionable reasons why it would absolutely fine to get one. I tell myself it's fine to stay in bed all weekend, I'm sad, it's allowed, I'll do things another day.

Reverse the situation - if it was my friend doing these things, I'd be tell her the opposite of my own excuses. I'd tell her not to go back into that horrid emotionally abusive relationship. I'd tell her a loan was just going to create more long term problems because she couldn't pay it back. If she was feeling down in the dumps and refusing to get out of bed at the weekend, I'd let her know it wasn't helping her situation.

Deep down, we know a lot of the things we tell ourselves are true. We know we make up ridiculous excuses to do/not do certain things. I'm sure we all watch ourselves being excellent advisors to our friends and family, but never apply that knowledge to ourselves.


Perhaps then, there is something in the phrase "Be Your Own Best Friend." When you're in a nasty situation, take a step back from yourself, see yourself through the eyes of a trusted friend and then come to a decision.

What about being your own Valentine then?

Personally, I'm happiest when I treat myself with the same love and care I bestow on those most important to me. When I cook myself food, treat myself to Arbonne SeaSource Detox Spa bathtimes, even take myself on silly little dates, my life is 100% better. Try treating yourself like your own lover for a week and see what it does to your mood.

And treating yourself how you wish others would treat you?

When you treat yourself well, other people notice and it sets the standard for the way they should treat you. Isn't it a sad fact that you're much more likely to belittle a person who obviously belittles themself? Don't put yourself through this. Treat yourself how you wish to be treated and other people will follow. Not only that, when I see someone who treats themself with the utmost respect, I know that they'll treat me to that same respect.

After thinking about it, it has become clear to me that perhaps, many cliches are cliches for a reason. What do you think?