For the longest time, I have promised myself I would turn my life around. While I'm not a criminal and I don't have any horrifically bad habits, I haven't really been living my life in the way I want to for a very long time.
Throughout university, I didn't really care about leading a healthy lifestyle. Ironically, this is probably the time in my life when I ate the most fruit and veg I ever have done, but it was also a time when I could smoke 20+ cigarettes a day and I would drink alcohol more days than not, and I'm not talking a singular glass of wine, I'm talking three litres of Lambrini...!
Funnily enough, the combination of sea air and actually eating a balanced diet meant I felt better during my three years of university health wise than I ever have done and it wasn't until I graduated that I started noticing things weren't quite right.
I became tired, tired all the time, deep, deep levels of exhaustion that I'd never felt before and steadily grew worse. Today, I struggle to make it to work at all, never mind on time and looking presentable and my social life and side hustle just doesn't exist anymore. Depression, headaches, sickness, brain fog, lack of motivation and an inability to concentrate are also common problems.
Thing is, it's not just my health that bothers me. While I feel my health is the crux of it all; after all, it's hard to make improvements when you're confined to your bed, there's other parts of my life I'm just not happy with.
I spend too much time staring blankly at screens, be it my TV or my phone or my tablets or my laptop. I have nothing against these items playing a large part in my life, but only when I'm doing something productive. Refreshing social media constantly is not an enriching activity for me.
If I'm going to be staring at a screen, I'd much rather be reading an e-book, writing blog posts, improving my graphic design skills, working on my business. Even better, I'd much prefer to be out of the house, getting fresh air, exercise, making new friends, keeping old friends, learning to play roller derby, learning photography, spending time with my boyfriend James and our furbaby Genghis. I want my spare time to be enriching, enlightening, relaxing, fulfilling and at the moment, it really isn't.
I know I sound like a broken record, too, too, TOO many times on this blog have I mentioned "Operation Improved Lifestyle" or "Operation Supervixen" just to trail off into nothingness and the poor lifestyle I've been wanting to avoid.
And yet, something has changed this time. Perhaps it's turning 24 and realising I am very definitely not a child or teenage girl anymore or maybe it's a wakeup call from the serious amount of debt I've got myself into through my bad habits and the not so great measures I've had to take to get out of that. Either way, I've shifted and my attitude has gone from "some day.." to "it's now or never."
I think I'm scared that if I don't make the changes I need to now, I'm gonna be stuck in this shitty life I'm living right now forever. I know 24 is so young to some people, but something is nagging at me and telling me soon it'll be too late to make the changes I want to make.
So here it is, Operation Supervixen: The Relaunch. The last relaunch. Because this time, it's time to make some changes that STICK.