The Vixen Thinks is an almost weekly feature on this blog. Posts vary in topic, I'll talk about anything I have an opinion on! From blogging to relationships to feminism and anything beyond. If there's anything you'd like me to write about, feel free to get in touch: firstname.lastname@example.org! Thank you!
In a bid to lead a positive, happier lifestyle, there are certain habits I am trying my hardest to give up because I know they serve no real purpose and in fact, decrease the quality of my life. In doing so, I've realised there are some key habits most people indulge in, but everyone would be much better off without. Here they are:
1) Internet Stalking
Hands up if you've ever browsed the social media pages and blog of your ex-boyfriend? Yeah, I'm sure you've done something similar to this before. How many of you do it often? I used to be horrendous for doing this. I was so nosy, and insisted on keeping tabs on people that I'd cut out of my physical life. Yet, I eventually realised that you haven't really cut someone out of your life when you're still watching their every move on the Internet. Sure you might not be interacting with that person directly, but you're still spending time on them, thinking about them and that means any negativity you are trying to avoid by associating with that person directly is still entering your life.
So stop it. Instead of looking up a friend you fell out with six years ago and gloating over how much better your life seems to be than hers now, look up an old friend who you still love but haven't spoken to in a while. Leave them a nice message.
Which do you think makes you feel better?
When I'm bored, I gossip. I will browse forums that gossip about Youtubers and bloggers. I will dig up dirt on people I know in real life. I will even read articles about celebrities who I don't actually know anything about other than, omg, they split with their husband of two weeks.
And yet, it always leaves me feeling horrible. Particularly when I read gossip about internet personalities, I get so scared of ever reaching any level of recognition with my blog because I don't want strangers gossiping about me. Then I stop pursuing any big goals for my blog and well, when you give up on your dreams, it makes you miserable.
Talking about other people's lives serves no real purpose. Instead, trying falling so in love with your own life, it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing.
I literally hate bitching so much. Particularly as a female, you grow up being taught that bitching about everyone and everything is perfectly natural and you're expected to do it, but urgh. It's such a horrid habit. If you don't like your friends, don't be friends with them. Who cares if someone is wearing a dress you personally don't like. Whatever.
We need to stop encouraging this kind of behaviour and stop saying it's natural. It's such a cliche but when you're horrible towards other people, behind their back or to their faces, it's really more a reflection on you than them.
4) Being Selfish
This is a tricky one for me, because in certain situations, I absolutely advocate being selfish. At the end of the day, you have to look out for number one and you have to live your life in the way that is best for you otherwise you're going to be pretty damn miserable.
That being said, so many people are so wrapped up their own world. They go about their lives stomping all over the people they meet, not thinking about the consequences their actions have on others. On a larger scale, I'm sick of people not caring about the wider world - for example not caring about the Summer Budget because they're not directly affected by it or not caring about the immigrant situation in Calais.
You don't have to be switched onto current events 24/7 and become a militant activist, but I think we could all do with showing a bit more compassion and bit less selfishness.
I'm all for a good rant when you really need to vent, but complaining needs to be something you do once to let off steam and then don't do again. There are a number of reasons we'd all be better off without complaining, the first being that no one cares. Harsh, but true. Complaining takes a lot of energy, particularly when it's all you do and you do it about everything. Thing is, what's the point? Why complain about the weather when you literally cannot change it? Why complain about your job when you could work to find a new one? The energy you spend on complaining is 99.9% of time better spent elsewhere, like changing your attitude to a situation or changing the situation you want to complain about.