Ah, Operation Supervixen, my own personal development programme that I created and promised to stick to and blog about. Self improvement is still an ongoing theme in my life, but it's slow progress. I am just making it up as I go along and it's not as great a source for blog content as I envisioned it to be. When I first started writing Operation Supervixen posts on the blog, my intention was to set some ludicrous goals, create a lofty and over-ambitious plan to get there, then blog about how I become an impossibly brilliant person. I now know that personal development is a never-ending journey, rather than a concrete destination, and a lot of the things I thought would turn me into Super Woman are actually not great for me.

For example, when I first started my self improvement journey, I was obsessed with the idea that I had to eat in a particular way and read certain books. I purchased so many "clean eating" recipe books and bullshit personal development books, which turned out to be an epic waste of money. Buying that stuff was counterproductive because one of my main goals was to be better with my finances, but also because that stuff just doesn't work for me. Eating "clean" just made me utterly miserable and books like "You Can Heal Your Life" and the "The Secret" are, quite frankly, full of shit.

I suppose, in a way, I am glad that I tried these things because it showed me what doesn't work for me and took me one step closer towards things that do. Sitting on my bum reading books from so called experts and visualising what I want my life to look like doesn't work. Forcing myself to cut out meat, dairy, gluten, carbs and other foods that bring me joy doesn't work.

So what does work? I'm a planner, and I always have been. The thing is, in the past, I've created plans that were so, so rigid. When they didn't work, I'd stop and start again and then wonder why nothing was changing. I now realise that I am a fluid person. The things I want change, the things that work for me change. Rather than overly detailed, rigid plans, I've realised that setting rough plans with the flexibility to change them when needed works really well for me. At the beginning of each week, I'll set myself goals and then change them as I go along because life is just unpredictable! Chopping and changing my routine - keeping things that are effective and dumping those that are not - has been so rewarding and my daily and weekly routine are now something I'm very comfortable with.

I've really had to get in touch with my body to do this. One of the biggest barriers between me and the life I want to live is my very low energy levels. I'm not 100% sure why I seem to have a lot less energy than other healthy women my age but it's something I'm learning to deal with. I use an app called Clue, which is meant for tracking periods, but it's given me such a huge insight into my overall health. It's made me realise there's patterns in my mood, my energy levels and overall wellbeing. I am slowly learning how to plan my life around these patterns and this really is key in my living the life I want to live. I know there is one week a month where I can complete ridiculously long To Do Lists and then some, whereas there are two where I should be careful not to set myself any strenuous tasks. I know when to expect much darker, lower moods and when I will be sociable and chirpy.

Life is a rollercoaster. I have days where I feel like I've still achieved absolutely nothing and I have days where I realise I am miles away from the girl I was even this time last year. I don't get things done as quickly as I want to and I still have issues that need a lot of work. But overall, I am happy. Deep down, I know I'm moving forwards the majority of the time.

I'm not sure whether I want to continue with Operation Supervixen posts or not - they're valuable for me but I don't know if that translates well to those who read them. I set out to write them to helps others - not just myself! Because I can't say I do X to achieve Z, I fear they're not much use to anyone. Let me know what you think!